Tuesday, January 31

Driving

Shits heavy yo.

I wish my moms could drive again
meaning she could go wherever she wanted
meaning she could take me with her
meaning we could go on adventures
meaning we would explore
meaning she could point things out
meaning she could still teach me
meaning I could be like her one day
meaning I could be the best
meaning I'd be invinceable
meaning she still supporting me
meaning she would be in good health
meaning I could believe again
meaning I wouldn't stop praying
meaning the church could perform its services
meaing she could walk me down the isle
meaning she could babysit my children
meaning my children would be raised properly
meaning they'd meet my favorite person
meaning I'd be happiest
meaning I could rest assure
meaning I could sleep at night
meaning my nightmare would stop haunting me
meaning I would stop worrying
meaning I could stop crying
meaning we could live and let live
meaninh we'd keep moving forward
meaning we could get to our destination
but she's always been my drive

Sunday, January 15

Isn't it?

Isn't it so scary?
Isn't it so scary that maybe you've used all of your good days?
Isn't it so scary that life has already been determined by fate?
Isn't it so scary there's so much more of good and bad awaiting?
Isn't it so scary being okay with loving the wrong person too long?
Isn't it so scary the more you fall in love with someone the more hearts break?
Isn't it so scary that your last bad impression may be the only impression?
Isn't it so scary that you could be the one for more than one?
Isn't it so scary that the one for you won't be?
Isn't it so scary to realize you weren't good enough?
Isn't it so scary letting go?
Isn't it so scary knowing that someone is always better, but you are chosen?
Isn't it so scary you made the wrong decision with the right person?
Isn't it so scary living with nothing but wrong decisions?
Isn't it so scary knowing that others survive with less?
Isn't it so scary getting everything you wished for?
Isn't it so scary to know that you'll always want more, even when more isn't offered?
Isn't it so scary to teach yourself not to want more?
Isn't it so scary everything that you have won't matter?
Isn't it so scary paying for something you've done when you were a lesser you?
Isn't it so scary that forgiveness is a thing?
Isn't it so scary that eventually you'll grow too old too young?
Isn't it so scary that you are enough
Isn't it so scary to put many years of hard work, dedication, diligence, and will power into something and quitting it in just one day?
Isn't it so scary doing something not everyone will appreciate?
Isn't it so scary knowing you can love someone wholeheartedly, so scary that you wouldn't make a move? 
Isn't it so scary that love is so strong?
Isn't it so scary not knowing if this is life indefinitely?
Isn't it so scary knowing you could do better?
Isn't it so scary letting a stranger enter your life knowing he/she could change your it?
Isn't it so scary to not know what someone is going through?
Isn't it so scary knowing you could change someone's life for the better forever?
Isn't it so scary that the last time you saw someone was the last time you will?
Isn't it so scary that diseases can strike at any given time?
Isn't it so scary that some people just want to destroy?
Isn't it so scary not knowing the true nature of your loved ones?
Isn't is so scary allowing your children to become whatever they want?
Isn't it so scary trusting that what's meant for you is truly meant for you?
Isn't it so scary that you can become whatever you want regardless of age?
Isn't it so scary not knowing who will be there when?
Isn't it so scary becoming helpless?
Isn't it so scary if you knew then what you know now?
Isn't it so scary not knowing essentially anything?
Isn't it?