Tuesday, September 22

The blog that almost wasn't and is uncalled for

Some times, I feel like this blog is a mirage. It is and isn't what I am. When I reflect on the posts and review them, I find myself trying to find the person that wrote it. This is me one or two hours out of the day, more than what I can offer. I lose him days at a time. My lifestyle is pretty bland, and nowadays I'm pretty much kept to myself. Here, I can be whoever I want to be and say whatever people will read. This blog gives me the chance to believe in things that I had already given up on: love, hope, unconditional relationships and lost crafts. Honestly, if I were this person day in and day out, I'd be a fcuking sociopath. Think about the attachments, depressive content and subliminal outreaches that I write about. Take away the fancy wording, rhyme schemes and metaphors, and you have a person trying to humble himself throughout his melancholic episodes. I'm not saying that everything I've written is hogwash thus far. Each and every post is true to me. I just don't want you to expect this person when you meet or come into contact with me. I'm not a writer (not good enough), not a blogger (don't blog enough), and I'm certainly not a travesty. All I do is take these little concepts and emotions and blow them the fcuk up with symbolism and exaggerations, to a certain degree. That I can say I enjoy doing. I go through just as many dark times as the next  person; I'm just a dreamer that translates it here. So, before you say I wrote this about so and so because this and that, know that it probably didn't start there and may not necessarily be true. I write because of ideas, fcuking ideas. I don't miss anyone, but I sure can have an idea of missing something and run with it. I'll repeat that for the over-lookers, "I don't miss anyone," with the exception of my mom. I know that lately I've been writing about relationships, but I am no way "in love" with anyone right now. I'm in love with fcuking ideas of being in love or loving. I'm in between posting this publicly on twitter and backspacing the whole 30 minutes I've just lost, but I'm way beyond.  It's just going to get posted to make me look like a jackass who has wasted time (his and others) trying to explain himself in what could have been 100 characters of a tweet or facebook post. However, I've never complained on those social networks, so the bloggers here get my rampage. This blog transitioned horribly. I went from explaining myself to defending myself. To who you ask? Probably myself. =) "Good night and God bless" - In Russell Simmons Voice. Thank you sincerely for liking my ideas though. It means a lot.