Thursday, October 28

"All the time talking about what to do to me or with me!"

The next acting tour date is coming up in a couple weeks; Crowley, LA here I come to spend the night. I thought I'd put a few pictures up. Thank you all for coming: Truc, Tram, Johnson, Huy, David, Mike, Terry, Jamie, Quincy, Tap, Nancy, Ha, and the fam. Thank you for making me uber nervous.

My monologue

The Best MTFering cast to ever graced the planet Earth.

After performance Dinner with the fam. Picture taken by Tap or Nansay as they are not pictured here.

Be not mistaken, I can see through your opaqueness. When you’re going through hard times, I feel. I know who you are and who you are not. What you try to conform to and your approaches are familiarities. I don’t judge; I never did. I don’t doubt where you’re going, support. Still I say nothing and do nothing, as I watch passively. For that I am sorry. I don’t present when you're lying, but I know the gestures that abet them. Conversations give me insight; your eyes put me in sight. I can indicate when you change your personality to cover your insecurities, and when you speak of them I’m aware of the magnitude that’s compressed. If only I could be there for you as you would like me to be. I know your story and sentiments. I should be your best friend, but I would never want to bestow that upon you. You’re an island of such great complexity. Still I say nothing and do nothing, as I watch passively. For that I am sorry.

Of all sports to get a neck injury from, I get it from tennis? Who gets tennis neck instead of the customary elbow? I wonder if Nadal had this sort of predicament. Flag football intramural is fun. Signed up for the Mardi Gras Marathon today.

Monday, October 25

"Drop beats, not bombs!!"

BREAKING NEWS: Brave New Voices 2010 is now on HBO. Well I watched, after recording, the finals. Holy shit they were nice. Although, winners from 2007 are my favorite: Fear Philly. There was no Josh Bennett in this one; I guess he's too old. Sigh... Wish I did slam poetry and was a part of the New Orleans team when I was younger/ignorant/less poetic. I think I'm going to do a slam one at Loyola's poetry even next month after talking to Carolyn. Working hard on that one. This one is not a slam poem, but a dedication.

She lives in the autumn of her life. The blooming of spring is long gone along with a summer filled with sun-bathing and basking. She now dwells in the proximity without time, so she paces with her pacemaker. Only there to see the fads fades, the trends transcend, the once illuminated dimming, and soul maturing. Silently staring and reflecting on a living world, crouched in an unforced fetal position, near and dear to the winter of her discontent. Labels added to her chart to let her know her body is progressively deteriorating: diseases, symptoms, prognosis and several words consisting of more than 4 syllables. The endorphins and serotonin levels are headed towards the end of their half-lives, making it unbearable to taste even the slightest sweetness of life. Her occupation of a wife and laborer has been terminated. Having handed the pink slip on many occasions, she has her load lessened, the ones she once complained about. It's been a long time and she longs to be longed for. After retiring as the caretaker for her kids and her kids' kids, her position within the company has been terminated alongside the declining economy. For while resting in an abyss of her own, her religion keeps her lightness, the levity. Palpitations pitter pats, with her heart dilly dallying with diabetes. She's too old to be told what to do. Her sensitive ears make the music we listen to too loud. Our unfamiliar habit s has depicted that time is now owned by the youth and their recklessness. She doesn't dance, but her biological clock ticks, her skin waves, and her joints pop and lock as she gets up from coin drops. Bones are now brittle with softened tendons and weary eyes, immobilizing her often enough not to see what is in her future. They were supposed to collect antiques and classics and be astonished in the presence of, not do away with. They're supposed to be more priceless to pass on. Wisdom gone with teeth decayed from gingivitis. So her smile is rarely seen, as she turns grim for the reaper, steadily pushing the bucket. She now lives in the autumn of her life, for the earth is a cold place to rest for the winter.

Upcoming blogs - Motivation (requested), next novella, culture slam

Friday, October 15

Trust Exercise

Going to start a sayings book for kicks and giggles. Wished I looked more presentable today, might have been life altering. Here's another requested one filled with babbling.

Personally, I despise the word "trust." Trust is word used by the insecure as a defense mechanism. Often used in a manner to prevent oneself from being hurt, an excuse. When people feel like they're losing something, they embed the word trust into whatever they have to prove. "I trusted you." Now, once used in the past tense, conversations will arise about gaining that trust back. Where does it say that trust is a bargaining chip for one feel secure again? Isn't that too much to ask for? To get someone to trust you again, to watch your every word and action from then on as if you're not human. People should know when they're not trusted, they shouldn't be constantly reminded or complained about. It's like knowing that you're not liked or desired for. Notice how trust is rarely used in a positive outlook. It's a label people can freely use to reinforced thoughts of actions. When haven't you used trust as a scared tactic? They treat trust as if it's this monumental dispensable gift, like a trophy in your case. Don't get me wrong trust is vital. But for some reason, if ever said, it seems to always come with contingencies. When really, trust should given unconditionally like love. You don't threaten someone by saying you'll lose my love and have to gain it back. So, why do it with trust? Now-a-days it's used as an arsenal to unload during desperate times to bring upon relational warfare. How can you say you don't trust them if you like/love a person? It comes with the territory, but should be banned from the English language. Because, trust has now become a leverage for one's selfishness. It was made for those who complain, who need to rectify unexplainable events. For example, "Look what you did with my trust!" Trust is a guilt trip waiting to occur. Even when you tell someone honestly that you do trust them, doesn't it make you feel like your in-debt from having any human error with all that pressure? So what good does it do it you say the word trust? So me, I say fcuk trust. Fcuk a person if you uses trust as a weaponry like, "I don't trust you anymore." You should just rather say I don't like you. We should cease making rules, restrictions, consequences, and promises with one word. You're not supposed to work to be trusted or liked; it should be present or not. That's the meaning of unconditional. No matter what faults will occur I'll always trust you, but I'll never need to say so. So, saying trust is like pronouncing your lost of faithlessness in mankind. Why don't you just say just that? Don't tie someone down with trust, because honestly it shouldn't be compromised or disposable.

Tuesday, October 12

Close call

Ever feel like time is almost up for you?

Between helping Carol with her pharmacy interest paper, Jthan with his English paper, and Quincy with his theology and interest paper, this will be my short break from writing/typing, a simple sentence with two songs.

Someone needs to learn to play these songs on the piano or guitar, so I can sing along. =P

Saturday, October 9

Curtain Call

I have several works that are half way done. However, I have to go through this filtration process in order to determine what should or shouldn't be published. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have to so I could go on a publishing frenzy. Should start a separate private blog, no offense followers. Hmmm...

Well my overall acting performance was so-so. I wasn't proud of it as I would want to be. Dry mouth = fail. I loved it though, missed a small line in the morning performance. However, it killed the cue for the next person's dramatic exit. Lol. Furthermore, my monologue was way better in the morning than the late night one. I guess it's because I performed in front of friends at night. Thank you for the support. My heart stops pounding heavily after my monologue is done. Just have to worry about other things like ad-libs. I hate how I use my right arm constantly to emphasize something, bad habit. Singing wasn't one of my strong aspects so I may have murdered that a bit, but if you can tolerate it my hat goes off to you. Not a bad first experience though. It's a learning process. Well, I thought it would be neat to put down some points I learned throughout for those aspiring young actors/actresses. Everyone should try it if you're not easily stage frightened. I know I'm not super knowledgeable so don't hold these to me, just food for thought.

1) Diction/enunciate - Working on diction is an attempt to rid all accents and lisps. It makes easier for people to understand you clearly. Enunciation is vital especially with words that are not used common conversations, such as as·tro·naut. Those kinds of words must be said more slowly. Also, people are sometimes lip readers so it's very useful if you're thought is not heard completely. Tongue twister helps with this and also warms up your mouth prior to performance. Listed are some tongue twisters I use:

She sells sea shells at the sea shore.

Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot, we'll be together
whatever the weather, whether you like it or not.

Black leather, yellow leather.

New York is unique.

Betty Botter bought some butter,
"But," she said, "the butter's bitter;
If I put it in my batter,
It will make my batter bitter;
But a bit of better butter,
That would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter,
Better than her bitter butter,
And she put it in her batter,
And made the bitter batter better.

2) Position: You must be always have an open stance, unless otherwise directed. For, example, during a dialogue I turned my back to the audience. So, to adjust I switched which feet was forward so everyone could see my bodacious bod. Also it's not always preferred to talk and walk at the same time. Direct attention to audience members. Get to your spot and cite your line. Rapid movements or distracting motions are frowned upon, unless otherwise directed. Avoid infamous, nervous gestures, such as: anguish penguin arm motions and rocking back and forth.

3) Character: It's very difficult to get into character. So do some research and/or attach personifications to your character. Get an overall background of the character or if you must make up one, use your imagination. Don't think about how you would feel always, it's not bad but think how he/she would feel. Try not to associate many of your gestures or emotions towards the character as it'll seem like just a deviated version of yourself. Blocking out different paragraphs to associate each emotion is preferably. Such as, 1st paragraph he's mad, then sad, etc.

4) Stay in character throughout: from the body language to the ad-lib. Ad-libs are very important as to revealing your reactions. Don't fidget but react to other characters instead of standing coy with some motions, such as those of revolt. Don't laugh at points like I do. -_-

5)Prepare: Be relaxed. Some people do light yoga, meditate, isolate, or simply do tongue twisters. Dry throat is common during monologues or dialogues, so be hydrated. I guess that's why we do tongue twisters, because with a dry mouth it's hard to enunciate.

6) Lessons from a director:
You must be seen, you must be heard, and you must understood; and if you can act, all the better.

You have 3 instruments: your voice, body, and imagination.

That's all for now. I probably forgot some other standards, rules or restrictions, but it's all good.

Monday, October 4

Intruder Alert

It happened in a day’s time, no bullspitting. An indefinite date that I declared you unforgivable, unworthy of acknowledgement. They say, “to err is human; to forgive is divine.” With that quoted, I can only claim human properties. I don’t know what I despise more, seeing me in you or seeing you in me? Either way, I have to find a new personality, unique attributes without associations. I’ve stopped looking for reasoning, but my vast memory creates this immobile, hostile force against your justification, this false resilience. I abhor the quality of remembrance. At who’s expensive is it at if I forgive and forget? It could only be at mines, the forgiver. I spit at remarks of spitting images, as we share no resemblance aside from the indebted affiliation. Primarily, I offered empathy. Secondly, I exercised sympathy. Now, I pity. You’ve breached the system and knowingly tampered it to the point of self-destruction. One day I’ll catholically forgive you of your trespasses, as a lifetime is a long time. Enjoy your time, but you will be reprimanded, maybe not by me. You’ll be dealt with the divine powers at hand in the hour of your death. For now, however, as Tupac says “Fcuk you and the clique you claim.” Oh yea, and God Bless.

I want to have a child, maybe sooner than later. Especially after watching the movie Gigantic. Soon as I get my shit together. No rush though.
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”