Tuesday, June 29

Straight as a Circle



This will be another utterly useless and ridiculous blog. You can stop reading here if you would like to. This hypothesis is from my own subjective thoughts.

If life is of any shape, it is a circle. Almost everything is circular: toilet seats, pimples, culdesacs, volley balls, most butts, donuts, spitballs, and that home button on the iPhone 3s. Some characteristics of a circle are: round, never-ending, ring, collection of infinite points, polygon with an infinite number of sides, any point on the circle is the same distance from the center, made up of a closed curved line (http://www.beaconlearningcenter.com/documents/2447_01.pdf). You can probably associate your own examples of life into any one of those characteristics; I'll spare you the time of what I think. This blog won't be completely about circles, but about your position within a circle. You might say, "shit it doesn't matter what point you are, because it's still the same distance from the center." That is true, but not entirely. You are, without a doubt, a point in circle next to an infinite number of points. However, the circle that you are linked with is based on breeding, hence a circle of breeding. They say, "Evil only breeds more evil." There are happy orientated circles, hate filled circles, hurtful circles, etc. Think of your circle of friends. Look to your left and then to your right; are most of y'all not somewhat alike? For example, the predicaments they are go through, you're probably go through or at least can cope with. You might be affiliated with a circle you were never meant to be in or a part of, but you are nonetheless bound by it. Now if you compare the opposing characteristic that you're in side by side, you now have a Venn Diagram. Let us say, for example, you are a point in a shit-talking circle. Lol! Someone probably brought you into that circle because there were those who shit-talked about you in the past. You thought it was normal so you began shit-talking yourself into the shit-talking circle. Then, you teach someone else to shit-talk, and so forth. The circle next to you, but not associated with, is the complimentary based circle. The "both A & B" area of the venn diagram is solely dependent on which two circles you are comparing and not always a bad thing. Until you are ready to recognize and altering your circumstances, changing circles, you will only bound to this round, never-ending, ring, collection of infinite points, polygon with an infinite number of sided circle. Just because someone has taunted or harmed you, you don't have to pass it on. Hurt breeds more hurt, pain breeds more pain, philanthropy breeds more philanthropist, happiness breeds more happiness, etc. What type of circle are you in and what kind of people also infest it?

Something witty I thought up:
When someone advises that you "not to let it go to your head."
Simply reply, "It doesn't go that far up, it stays in my heart."


"You left a stain on every one of my good days" -Matchbox Twenty
"Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brain" -Train

Wednesday, June 16

Family Business



My Grandfather is at my house waiting for Grandma and me to leave to California. He didn't just drop her off to Avondale from Morgan City, no, no, no. He's savoring every moment he has with her, and they lounge on my couch until he knows for sure we're safely on our way. Guess it's in our blood. Hahaha. The trip to Cali is for a funeral for someone that I'm related to, but have never met personally. I don't know which is worse, to never have met him, to meet him when he's dead, or for the family to get together on such occasion. I'd rather we have met for one of those "just because" cases. Sigh.

Thought I'd dedicate the rest of this blog to my siblings. With me leaving and my brother out of town, I was thinking about how I'm not going to see them for awhile. So I actually find myself missing them. I honestly believe that they are far better than me in more ways than one. So here's a short summary to who they are to me.

Tiffany:
She's always thinking about the family, which is really admirable to me. I wish I could do the same and have half of her selflessness. Ask anyone around, she is always happy and willing to converse. Everyone, other family members and friends, knows her more than they know me, and you thought I was social. She keeps in touch with just about everyone she meets. When I visit some of our family or her friends, they always ask, "How is Tiffany?" It's crazy when I think of it, she's like the foundation of the family, constantly calling and checking up on everyone. Relatives all across the U.S. know her personally. They're going to ask me about her while in Cali, I know it. I'm pausing right here because I'm actually tearing up. Lol. Well to continue, she calls me like everyday and always ask if I need anything from wherever she is. There are a lot of occasions where she gets me things without me asking for them "just because." Very caring and understand, I wish I could be like her.

Taylor:
Since I chose to eat so late I sometimes don't get any of my mother's cooking. My brother will set aside some of his portion to me. When I say that I'm hungry, he'll always ask if I want some of his. If ever I asked him for or to do anything, he's more than likely willing to even give me his last. I really like the kind of person he's growing up to be, and that's no thanks to me. I constantly tease him and joke with him, but once and awhile I enjoy our heart to hearts. Don't tell him I said that. I don't hate that his getting better than me in everything I do. Basketball keeps our relationship strong. I actually find myself bragging about him from time to time, who would've thought? At functions, he becomes the center of attention now, not me. I don't mind passing the torch to him because he's becoming more and more entertaining. He'll come to me with his problems at seldom times. I guess that's all I really give him is knowledge, wisdom, or whatever. Even without it, I'm sure he'll do good all on his own. Yes I said he'll do good and not well, I know he's well. He's nice, really nice. Very generous and enthusiastic, I wish I could be like him.

It's hard to be sad when they're so happy all the time. This was pretty hard to write, effing tears. The only thing I do for the family is carry the weight when something is wrong. I'm not really the problem solver or anything, but everyone knows if something happens within the family it affects me most. I have a lot of heart. So, they have a tendency to console me, even when it doesn't seem like it's not affecting me. They know it does, and I probably cry more than them because of it. I'm just being honest. Even in this instance, they're still the ones helping me. That's why it's family over everything.

"This is family business. And this is for the family that can't be with us" - Kanye West

R.I.P Grandpa

Post script,
"My mom is the strongest man I know."

Saturday, June 12

250 thousand miles on a clear night in June

I miss Panama City more than any metaphor, idiom, clique, or any words could explain or exemplify. End of story.



Top 5 Eminem's Recovery album songs
1) Space bound
2) You're never over
3) Going through some changes
4) Love the way you lie
5) No love

Tuesday, June 1

15 dots and a Line

I’ve failed you…
In more ways than one…
Could ever have had…
You ever heard to change…
In my jean pockets stays there…
Lies lies through reply…
To this message if you can…
You believe that I wish I were enough…
Said through your actions such as faith…
Fullness of life if you were present…
Day comprises of reneges of promises…
Are meant to be broke…
In the time that it takes…
Two to tango, we would have been slow dancing…
In a burning room, while we talk…
About perfectly, simply synchronized till our legs grew weak and we’d fall asleep